Monthly Archives: November 2007

Over Sensitiveness

Click here to read in Gujarati
Some years ago, I h
ad read a book of collected short stories from other languages of the world which were translated into Gujarati. A Russian story by Anton Chekhov titled as THE DEATH OF A GOVERNMENT CLERK is the base of the theme of my Article here. Before I go to my subject, I would like to present here its summary in brief.

The main character of the story is a Government clerk. He goes to gaze an opera, sneezes, spatters on the bald head of an officesitting in front seat accidentally and apologizes feeling the guilt of breach of good manners. The officer takes it easy by saying ‘never mind … never mind’, but the clerk is not satisfied with the response. He, once again, apologizes in the interval. This time the officer is little annoyed. He says, “Oh, that’s enough . . . I’d forgotten it, and you keep on about it!”

Further, seeking advice of the wife, the clerk meets the officer once again in his office and tries to explain that he had not spattered intentionally and requests to excuse him. The officer, stamping his foot forcefully down on the ground and shaking all over his body with anger, shouts loudly “Be off”. The extreme anger of the officer makes the clerk nervous and collapsed. Now, he is shocked too much and in a staggering state reaches home mechanically. He doesn’t even take off his uniform, lies down on the sofa and dies.

The above story moves on humorously, but at the endit becomes tragic. The death of the clerk occurs due to his over-sensitiveness on a minor issue. No doubt, we may find some exaggeration here, but it really highlights one of the weaknesses of human nature where many oversensitive people fail in dealing of many affairs with the people. The delicate sensitiveness pushes the victim towards unnecessary tension and it becomes the cause of depression. As a result, one’s progress comes in the state of stagnation. Alfred Adler, an Austrian Psychiatrist, has observed, “The exaggerated sensitiveness is an expression of the feelings of inferiority”. It is well known to all that any individual suffering from inferiority complex cannot make any progress in its life and in any of its field. Now, let us go some deep into the topic of this Article.

An exaggeration of over-sensitiveness makes our primary emotions somewhat disgusting; that is to say that a good virtue of generosity sometimes becomes painful to others just like the meanness and gratitude also hateful as ingratitude. Thus, such behavior affects the safe and civilized life of a person adversely.

With my open mindedness, I won’t hesitate to quote Dennis Farana, an American film and TV actor; who has frankly said for himself as “I am extremely –extremely sensitive. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I am (like) such a girl when it comes to that. Anything upsets me. I cry all the time. I cry when I am happy too.” Further, he added, “If you are a sensitive person like me, you turn to something that makes you feel good.” I have cut here his own further ‘something’ which is not desirable for a civilized person. One may opt any better ‘something’ rather than his own which may not be harmful to body, brain and even soul just only to be the self-supporter to overcome over-sensitiveness.

Charles Horton Cooley, an American Sociologist, has said, “A talent somewhat above mediocrity, shrewd and not too sensitive, is more likely to rise in the world than genius.” This quote is self explanatory and also supporter to my previous thought that over sensitiveness is the toughest obstacle in the way of uplifting the self.

Lastly, I’ll give you a single tip to know yourselves whether you are oversensitive by nature. It is very simple – when you start to complain about your feelings hurt to everybody who-so-ever comes across you, understand clearly that you are a psychic case of over-sensitiveness. My good Readers, do share your feelings with your nearest friends or spouse to lighten your grief; but to announce your problem publicly is not only foolish but useless also. A very interesting quotation of Lou Holtz will justify what I have said just. It is as “Don’t tell your problems to people; eighty percent don’t care, and other twenty percent are glad you have them.”

Hope you felt good if my Article was interesting one,

– Valibhai Musa
26th November, 2007

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Posted by on November 26, 2007 in લેખ, Humor, MB


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My Haikus – III (મારાં હાઈકુ – ૩)

Click here to read in Gujarati
In my
previous blog Posts on Haikus, I have much more said about the physical structure and its characteristics. Now, just to make a long story short, I’ll represent still two more Haikus in Gujarati. In this Blog post, I have translated my Gujarati Haikus in English with my own criticism for my English Readers. But, before to proceed further, I am little bit tempted to represent an English Haiku which has attracted me a great. Let us be its co-sharer to enjoy.

Jonas-Lichtenwallner writes:

“when crows came

from somewhere, fogs

began to talk.”

Now, go to my two Gujarati Haikus as follows:

ભૂલકું તાકે

ટોયગને નિશાન

ગાંધીછબિએ ! (૨૬)

Innocent child

pointing toy-gun to

Gandhi’s photo ! (26)

(Here is the biting irony in presentation of this Haiku. It’s a queer world ! The great prophet-like personality was shot dead with a real pistol and bullets. Can we equate that cruel deed with a child game? Certainly, not !!! A super human fought for the mission of Non-violence throughout his life and tragically became the victim of violence like Abraham Lincoln. T. S. Eliot (A Noble Prize Winner) has rightly written in his book on poetry “Four Quartets” in “Burnt Norton” that human kind cannot bear very much reality.)


ટીંગી દિવાલે, હાય !

ઠોકી ખીલા રે ! (૨૭)

Jesus’ photo

put up on wall, oh !

being nailed ! (27)

(Here also is one more tragedy of human life that the people failed to recognize Jesus. He was crucified by torture with nails, wounds and thorny crown. About two millenniums passed and the cruelty towards Jesus is still alive in the hearts of the followers. His merciful last words – “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” will continue echoing into the universe till the Day of Judgment. The photo of Jesus is being hanged on the wall with nails. There is the satire in this Hykoo as if human kind is not satisfied with nailing to Jesus and still the photo of him is nailed. No doubt, the intention behind putting up the photo of Jesus on the wall is bonafide for remembrance of him; but nailing to photo frame reminds us that tragic day of shame to human kind.)

That’s all.

Gujarati Haikus written and translated by :-

– Valibhai Musa
19th November, 2007

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Posted by on November 20, 2007 in લેખ, gujarati, Poetry


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My today’s Blog post is just like my previous one “Character and Reputation” as the counseling to, not only parents or persons involved in the field of education but, all individuals worldwide of any age how to improve our manners towards others and make social contacts pleasing to own self and others. This short essay may be useful to anybody just to avoid any cause of harming one’s own or anybody else’s dignity which may arise from any display of ignorance of social etiquette or morals whatever you please to call it.

The ultimate goal of life is to build a good character. Own home and educational institutions contribute in development of the character of an individual. For Good or ill character of the person, mainly these two sources are responsible. The aim of a good character lies in the realization of the two great goalssocial welfare and individual development. Today, the life is hardly free as many have to make mad struggle for wealth to live a materialistic life better; and hence, a very little attention is paid towards the character building and mannerism of growing children in the household.

Now, let me come to my subject and say that our Manner is nothing but the reflection of the character of our own. As the character is, the manners would be. Generally, the manners are considered as the minor morals in the society; and that is why we can see a decline in good manners of individuals everywhere in present times. Confucius, an ethical teacher, Philosopher and founder of ‘Religion of Confucianism’ has quoted, “Consideration of others is the basic of a good life, a good society.” A good life is the result of good character and a good character gives the birth to good manners. Emily Post (An American Hostess) has said the same thing in other words as “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” The foundation of good manners is kindness and sympathy also.

Home is the first institution of a person for cultivation of own behavior. Every home is responsible for good or bad manners of its members. Every member (but here to be meant as ‘children’) is influenced of the environment of the home and the behaviors of the members of the family (here also to be meant as ‘elders’).Good or bad manners come out from the inner character of the person. It is said, “As you sow, so you reap”. Same way, “As your character is, so your manners are.” But, here in this statement; there is an exception and it is that the possessor of a good character, sometimes, fails to show good manners due to ignorance of some special behaviors with others. Let us take an example of a characterized person who is from a rural area and does not know some etiquettes of an urban area. Such person may be criticized as manner-less due to our ignorance that the fellow is a villager, but we can’t say that he is character-less.

Now, let us come to the clarification of the word-‘Manner’; and its two kinds – ‘good’ or ‘bad’. By social tradition, certain forms of behaviour have been established as good manners which please others and bad manners which displease them. In brief to say, such approved forms of behaviour are established as ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’. These norms may vary from time to time, place to place, situation to situation and society to society. When an individual observes good manners, he or she is satisfied with it and the recipient also feels thankfulness with his or her manners.

Here below, you will find some tips collected from various sources and also thought out by myself as the guideline for good manners and which may serve as a check-list of some general and specific matters. These may need attention if all or any of them are new for any Reader to shape mode of manners of one’s own or kids’. These suggested ‘Dos’ or ‘Don’ts’ do not necessarily cover your all expectations, but some which are most essential at a first glance are presented here.

General :

1.Restrict own self from loud or quarrel-like talks or conversations.

2.Avoid roaming idly in streets.

3. Extend courtesy towards ladies, older and sick people, handicapped people and school children in streets and public transportations.

4.Walk on the edge of the road when walking with the ladies.

5.While entering a bus or street car, allow ladies first and if accompanying them, descend before them.

6.Offer a lady or an older person a seat when Automobile is full.

7.Do not chew gum while travelling in public transport.

8.Do not rush ahead of others to secure a seat.

9.Avoid playing, whistling or talking loudly.

10.Say “Excuse me” or “Pardon, please” to go ahead when someone is blocking your way.

11.Clean off the shoes before entering a bus or somebody’s office.

12.Don’t drop fruit skins, waste-papers etc. on the road.

13.Pick up any scraps of paper or anything lying on ground which you see and deposit them in a waste-paper basket.

14.Address a woman as “Yes, Madam” or “No, Madam” and to a man as “Yes, Sir” or “No, Sir”, not merely as “Yes” or “No”.

15.Use the expression “If you please” or “Please” while making a request.

16.Don’t keep hands in pockets while facing anybody.

17.Say “Excuse me” in case if you disagree with a statement and present your ideas politely.

18.Rise when an older person enters the room and also when being introduced if you are in a sitting position.

19.Don’t interrupt the conversation of talking person and be attentive.

20.While talking with the other person, allow him or her time to speak

21.Remember that a written invitation requires a written reply and also in time.

22.You must attend invitation if accepted and in otherwise case inform timely with regret.

23.Greet the host or hostess on arrival and departure and greet the older people first before younger people.

24.Be courteous to everybody in all actions.

25.Stand in queue where it is observed.

26.Be friendly with your neighbours.

27.Attend funerals of community people or relatives.

28.Don’t forget to send condolence messages to the family of passed away.

29.Wear clothing suitable for the time of day and for your work.

30.Take a daily bath and dress becomingly.

31.Keep your teeth, hair, finger–nails in good condition.

32.Keep your clothing and shoes neat and clean.

33.Respect the property of other people.

34.Have respect and consideration for others.

35.Don’t spit on the road or at public places.

36.It is impolite to stare at anyone in public.

Specific :

1.Draw back the chair for the girl or lady next to you at the dinner–table, and push it under her as she sits down.

2.Do not sit down until the host or hostess is seated. Men should not sit down until all the ladies are seated.

3.Do not rise from the table until the host or hostess has risen.

4.Do not rest your elbows on the table.

5.After you are served wait until the host or hostess begins to eat.

6.Don’t speak when your mouth is full of food.

7.Do cover your mouth when yawning, coughing or sneezing with your hand and don’t forget to say “Sorry”.

8.Practise good behaviour and good sportsmanship at games.

9.Learn to talk interestingly and to listen intelligently.

10.Be courteous, frank, and friendly. Do not try to be popular by attracting attention.

11.Do not make unkind, cutting remarks making other people down.

12.Show extreme care while passing of air in public.

13.Express what you wish to say as clearly and as attractively as possible, depending upon correct English rather than slang for effectiveness.

14.Wait for a sign of recognition before interrupting a person who is busy.

15.Keep your lips pressed while chewing the food. This practice will not allow any chewing sound.

16.Be courteous while having lift in a car and observe certain etiquettes as a rider.

17.Shut down the door properly and slowly when you descend from the car.

18.Change your seat in case of owner remains alone in driving seat when you have taken lift in a private car.

19.Keep silence till your destination arrives and if you are involved in talking, talk politely.

20.Be conscious of not allowing any sound by spoon/fork with dish on dining table.

21.Be courteous with waiters and lift man.

22.Knock at the door or ring a bell while visiting somebody’s house.

23.Trytobe always an honourable guest keeping certain disciplines.

24.Keep certain disciplines while visiting a patient.

25.Don’t insert your finger in your ear or nose publicly.

26.Don’t comb your hair in public.

27.Don’t start talking with unknown person without introduction by third party or self.

28.Don’t swear so much now and again while talking with anybody to prove that you are right.

29.Don’t forget to say “Could you say that again for me, please?” or “Pardon please.” when you have not heard properly.

30.If anybody introduces himself to you, don’t say simply as “O.K.”, “Hi !” or “Yes”; but, by shaking hand, say in same way as “I am so and so.” and add “It is very nice to see you.”

31.While beginning to talk on phone when you have dialled, don’t forget to say “Am I disturbing you?” or “Excuse me.”

32.Avoid annoying others with your cell phone.

33.In functions, funerals or meetings, keep your cell phone on vibrate mode or switched off.

34.Don’t eat while talking on phone.

Summing up, above tips of good manners are some out of thousands spread over in our living life. They may be categorized in various sections related to our behaviors with others. They can be learnt by insight, common sense, observation, practice, training and imitations or follow ups. A single lined general principle for good manners is “Self control in all our behaviors”. Lastly, I would like to quote Amy Vanderbilt, an authority on etiquette and author of her best selling book published on “Etiquette” in 1952 and still is in circulation today. She wrote, “Good manners have much to do with emotions. To make them ring true; one must feel them, not merely exhibit them”.

Hope your Reading of this Article was a satisfactory one in interest of your children as well!


– Valibhai Musa
Dtd. :
17th November, 2007

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Posted by on November 18, 2007 in લેખ, Character, MB


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My Lyrics – II (મારાં ઊર્મિકાવ્યો – ૨)

In my previous Article “My Lyrics – I” ; I had given you, in a single sentence, the definition of lyric that it is a poem that expresses the personal feelings of the lyricist. Here, I would like to add somewhat more into that regard that the lyric is related to a category of poetry that expresses not only the feelings but also the thoughts of the poet in a song like style or form. A successful poet leads the Reader to such a climax of his lyric that it becomes a wonderful piece of workto enjoy by heart. Before I go to my two lyrics, I am going to represent a short poem written by Rabindranath Tagore. I am little bit afraid of any breach of copyright of this poem, but I assure to who-so-ever is concerned to withdraw it from my Article in case of any objection brought to my knowledge. ( My email Id is already under my first Introductory Article “About me”. ) Well, some critics may not agree with me, but I’ll categorize Tagore’s quoted poem under the form of a lyric. Let us enjoy together a poem written by a great poet and also a Noble Prize winner for his poetry “Geetanjali”.

It is as follows:


The fish in the water is silent,
the animals on the
earth is noisy,
bird in the air is singing.

But man has in him the silence of the sea,
the noise of the earth
and music of the air.
– R. Tagore

Now, go to my Gujarati Lyrics (ઊર્મિ કાવ્યો) here below :-

(૨) સપનતણખલાં

ચંચુ મહીં તૃણ ગ્રહી
નિજના અર્ધાપર્ધા સર્જાયા એ
નીડ ભણી
ધસમસતા કપોત તણી
તત્પરતામાં તન્મય થઈ,
હું ય ચહું;

ગ્રહવા નિજ ઓષ્ઠ મહીં
તુજ બંધ પોપચાં
સ્વપ્નસભર – જે સ્વપ્ન તૃણશાં
રહ્યાં આજ લગ,
નવ બનિયાં એ અમ જીવનનીડ.

પણ ડર
રખે ઓષ્ઠસ્પર્શે તું જાગે,
દુજી આંખ તુજ ઝબકી ઊઘડે,
ખરી પડે એ સપનતણખલાં !

વલીભાઈ મુસા

(3) પારેવડાં

વહેલી પરોઢે,
ચણ ચૂગે, તવ આંગણે,
તવ હાથથી વેરાયલી,પારેવડાં !

હું ય ચૂગું
સૌ સાથ, થૈ પારેવડું !
પણ ચણ નહિ,
મારે તો ચણવી
છાપ તમ પગલાં તણી !

વલીભાઈ મુસા

– Valibhai Musa
Dtd. 12th November, 2007

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Posted by on November 17, 2007 in લેખ, gujarati, Poetry


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My Lyric – I (મારું ઊર્મિકાવ્ય – ૧) -તમે, કોમળ કોમળ !

When I happened to go through a Gujarati blog of Mr. Himanshu Mistry; I, to my great surprise, chanced to see a lyric written by Madhav Ramanuj titled as “Ame komal komal”. My surprise was related to my past dim memory that, perhaps, I had written such resembling titled lyric (unpublished) some years ago. I referred my old portfolio and found out my lyric -“Tame, komal komal”(1984). There is the resemblance of only echoing the words ‘komal .. komal’ commonly in both titles, but the themes of both the lyrics are different.

I am very much pleased to publish my first lyric, here, in this Blog post. My regular Gujarati Readers have been provided some creations of my short stories and Hykooz in my previous Blogs. Like Hykooz, I’ll represent my lyrics also in parts occasionally. My Readers of literature may be aware of ‘Lyric’- a one more form of poetry. In a single sentence, it can be said that a lyric is a poem that expresses the personal feelings of the poet.

Now, go below if you are at leisure.

(1) તમે, કોમળ કોમળ !

ફૂલો તણી સેજમાં ઉછર્યાં,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

હળવી હથેળીઓમાં ઝૂલ્યાં,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

કંપતે હાથે કન્યાદાન પામ્યાં,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

અગનસાખે જીવતર જોડ્યાં,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

ભરથાર તણી હૈયાભોમ અજાણી,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

પોચી ધરા જાણી આદર્યાં વસમાં ખેડાણ,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

માંહ્ય અથડાતા દોહ્યલા પ્હાણ,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

દૂર રહી નિરખું એ આકરી મથામણ,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

નિસાસા ઊનાઊના છેડું,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

ઝેરનાં પારખાંની કીધી ઉતાવળ,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

અમારી હૈયાભોમ ના હતી અજાણી,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

ગુહય આંસુડેથી ભીંજવેલ એ ભોમ,
હતી તો સાવ કોમળ કોમળ !

શીદને હાલ્યાં તમે ખેડવા એ પ્હાણ,
તમે તો હતાં કોમળ કોમળ !

ભલે આદર્યો ચાસ પૂરો કરજો,
છો તો તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

બીજો ચાસ નાંહી લેજો હવે હાથ,
તમે તો રહ્યાં કોમળ કોમળ !

પહેલા ચાસે ચાસે વહી આવો અમ પાસ,
અમે તો સાવ કોમળ કોમળ !

વચાળે ભલે એથીય કઠણ શેઢાની ધાર,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

હામ ભીડી વીંધી દ્યો એ ધાર આરપાર,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

અમે તલસીએ તીણી તમ હૈડાની ધાર,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

ફૂલોની સેજમાં ફરીકાં રમાડશું,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !

હળવી હથેળીઓ મારગડે બિછાવશું,
તમે કોમળ કોમળ !


– Valibhai Musa
Dtd. :
9th November, 2007



Posted by on November 10, 2007 in gujarati, Poetry


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