(On experimental grounds, some my literary works were published un-titled previously. I had asked my Readers to suggest the title though it was my work to do so. But, here, particularly for this post, I am not going to put any burden on your shoulders for giving the title to this post as it is already given above but in a non-dictionary word. It would be better if you restrict yourselves till you finish your reading to go to Key Notes at the end to set the letters and understand the title. Meanwhile, I hope you will bear with me until you do your job lately in this regard.
My impatient Readers will think that the turban is many times greater than the head. It means that the preamble is extremely extended, but I am helpless as this post falls in category of a certain form of literature. I’ll not explain now, but, the time will say what form of literature this Article is. I’ll not leave you hanging too much longer; but state that, now onwards, a story will follow. There are many kinds of literary stories, but if you are familiar with this peculiar form*, it is good; if not, don’t worry. Now, proceed on to read the story. If you agree with its content, it is great; if you do not agree with it, it is great again.)
“Once there was a man, one of the rarest of the rare genius personalities. I’ll keep his name reserved; if need be, it will be disclosed later on. Meanwhile, let us call him Mr. Nobody. His life was the greatest challenge to science of human behavior. His conversation was efficient, his dialogues were witty and his satires were deep to understand. Sometimes, he asked some absurd questions to the people and at the end he had to answer them himself. People laughed, but he remained neutral not expressing any emotions on his face.
Though his conversations seemed absurd, people regarded him as an intelligent man. His absurd style was just to entertain the listeners and nobody felt insulted even in public. He once asked a Madam who was a Nursery teacher that she taught the kids the wrong pronunciation of alphabet ‘W’. He said that it is not double ‘U’, but it is double ‘V’. He not only stopped there, but said further, “Have you ever thought that the non-capital pairs of ‘b’ and ‘d’ as well as ‘p’ and ‘q’ are nothing but mirror images of each other?”
One day, he was in an extra-ordinary mood and exposed his secret knowledge addressing to a small group of people in the words as ‘I am going to tell you a saying on an elephant. It is that a living elephant is worth INR 1,00,000; but when it is dead, its cost goes to INR 1,25,000.’ Then, he put an acute question ‘What do you think of a powerless President of a democratic nation?’ All were speechless as they could not follow what he meant to say. After the silence of few minutes, he said, ‘When President is in his office, he is a rubber stamp; but when he is no more, he becomes a postage stamp.” Some understood and some did not, all laughed and clapped; but Mr. Nobody was still like a statue. There are many such examples of his wit, presence of mind and sharp intellect; but there is no room for all those to narrate here.
People wondered how he could control his emotions and keep on his vacant face while in conversation. He made listeners laugh, but he won’t laugh. Some youngsters investigated that he had never laughed even in his normal private life. One day they asked him to unveil its mystery and to their surprise they came to know that since his age of 10 to present age over 50, he had neither laughed nor smiled even for a single time. In reply to what about early 10 years, he said that he had only laughed but never cried. He explained plainly that he had laughed while taking his birth also instead of crying as normally new born babies do. His mother said that he was an abnormal child reacting adversely. All the members of his family were used to distinguish his expression of emotions. They took both his crying and laughing otherwise in the sense as we actually mean those.
He had laughed last at the age of 10 when his father had died at his very young age. You will feel it hard to believe how a mentally normal child might laugh on its father’s demise instead of crying. When the members of his family, his mother, neighbors and rest relatives were crying, Mr. Nobody broke out in shouts of laughter in the equal degree to crying on such the sad event. He continued to laugh on until his father’s funeral service was over and his grief was calmed down.
His mother was annoyed great for shameful behavior of Mr. Nobody. She scolded and warned him in anger that she would kill him if ever he laughed until she lives. Mr. Nobody proudly said, “It was my last laughing of my life. My mother is no more now and even though I don’t laugh. I feel guilty still now that I had laughed at the death of my father. It was not my intention to do so, but I was helpless. I can’t understand till now why it happened so with me. There might be some neurological deficiencies by birth or the mechanism of expressing emotions would have failed to function. Whatever it may be, but it was the fact that my styles of expressing happiness and gloomy were exchanged.”
On that day, some youngsters made up their minds to make Mr. Nobody laugh at any cost. They were confident they would succeed nevertheless many would have failed. They all stood around him and began to tickle him in his arm-pits with poking of their fingers. Mr. Nobody felt the titillation so thrillingly that he began to laugh within no time after long past 40 years. Once his laughing started, it began to increase gradually. Within five minutes, his laughing reached its climax. His laughter was now out of control. His parents, Neurologists, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, class-mates, street friends – the list might grow extensive; but all were unsuccessful with this practice that those youngsters did. He laughed and laughed until his cheeks were red and eyes full of tears. He turned curved from the waist while laughing. He sat down on earth and continued his giant-like laughing. The youngsters also enjoyed great. They shouted loudly and laughed fiercely with joy that they had at long last succeeded in their aim.
Now, those young men kept away from him leaving him alone to act upon his laughing. They were excited with the result that the engine of Mr. Nobody’s laughter had picked up and reached nearness to its full motion which had remained sticky for the last 40 years. At least for half an hour, Mr. Nobody kept on laughing. A great crowd of people had gathered there enjoying the non-stop laughter of Mr. Nobody.
But to the surprise of all, Mr. Nobody stopped laughing all of a sudden as if a vacuum brake was applied to the engine of his laughter. Mr. Nobody was no any more!”
– Valibhai Musa
Key Notes for Title ML GRGOV and form of story ZYHFIW*:-
Write all the 26 alphabets in sequence on a plain paper from A to Z in first line.
Similarly, write all alphabets from Z to A in second line.
Now find out related letters of the words “ML GRGOV” and “ZYHFIW” from the second line correspondently standing for each in the first line.
Hopefully, you have found out my title to the post and form of story also.
Tags: absurd, alphabet, લેખ, Conversation, intellect, Literature, story, wit
Dr. Chandravadan Mistry
December 22, 2008 at 6:49 pm
NO TITLE or AN ABSURD STORY…..what was wriien as a Post was very nice ! It makes one to think…it gives a bit of sillyness & even an opportunity to laugh, …. the end of the story was ” MR. NOBODY ” was NO MORE….but if there was no demise then this story may have continued as ” MR. SOMEBODY ” a changed HUMAN BEING,
Valibhai…Enjoyed the Post ! You are invited to my Site for viewing several Posts on HOME at>>>>.