Like other emotions, anger is also a natural emotion in human life. Anger is the outward expression of our feelings of annoyance or disappointment that we experience in our heart or mind. When our established expectations, minor or major, are challenged by any outward causes, we get angry. Anger commences initially as a defensive response to attacks or threats aimed to disturb our mind, but subsequently it advances towards the two alternate ways of either to suppress or express the same. Psychologists believe that expression of anger is better than its suppression.
Anger, either for good motive or false cause, is never considered as a good sign of a civilized or a religious minded person. To control anger is just as practicing penance. It is very easy to preach others to have patience against anger or prevent it prior to its very beginning; but when we come across such situations practically, we become helpless and become the victim of anger.
It is well known to all that Lord Shiva who is considered as the destroyer of the universe in Hinduism had burned Kamdeva, the deity of Love into ashes by opening his third eye in forehead and throwing fierce blazing flame in anger when his meditation was interrupted. Lately, he was convinced regarding intention of Kamdeva and, of course, he had restored him in his original state.
Above example is self sufficient to make it clear that to control anger is a very heavy task for a common person of any age or gender. It is near to impossible to conquer anger fully; but if anybody tries in this regard, it is possible that the degree of anger might be reduced. At least any angry person might remain conscious about what he speaks or how he acts while expressing anger.
There is no any difference between a blackout drunkard and an extremely angry person as they both become faddist and unconscious under the influence of their respective intoxications/effects and their shameful behaviors lower them down lower than the lowly animals. Your personality is altered when you consume alcohol or are under influence of anger. To justify what is just said about anger comparing it with taking of wine, I’ll quote a Persian verse that criticizes anger as follows:
“Keep away from anger and carnality,
The smoke of which darkens the insight;
When anger appears, wisdom disappears,
And when lust dominated, the soul is impudent.”
We live in society and happen to come in contact with many people and face many adverse situations. Human life is not so easy that it might pass on as one thinks of it that might be suitable to own comforts, convenience and satisfactions. At every step on the way of our life, we have to compromise so many things. Particularly, while dealing with emotion of anger, some balance should be maintained therein. Nobody can avoid or control anger all the times. Anger itself is not bad at any time, but its expression is the worst most of the times. Anger expressed in a wrong way might affect your relations with the members of your family, co-workers at your job-place and in precise to say it might spoil the quality of your life.
Patience is the remedy of the mental disease of anger. In other words, it can be understood that both patience and anger are the opposite natural emotions of human mind, but the former is positive and the latter is negative. To accept some unwanted situations or persons as they are or may be is like a never failing arrow. Our mind is a battle field where both armies of good and evil thoughts are always busy to conquer each other. It is evident that the stronger will win and it is up to us whom to make stronger than the other. Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib (a.s.), the first spiritual leader of the Twelver Muslims after the Prophet of Islam Hajarat Mohammed (PBUH) has quoted that “Verily if you are patient, the trials of destiny will befall you and you will be rewarded for them; whilst if you are anxious (angry), not only will the trials of destiny still befall you, but they will cover you over.”
Just to recognize yourself whether you are angry by nature, you should ask your beloved ones very frankly and they will tell you whether you need to be calmed down fully or partly or not at all. Psychiatrics and religious sources have suggested many tips to calm down the anger such as counting numbers, changing physical position (if standing, sitting down; if sitting, lying down), drinking water, leaving the place, taking a walk, whistling favorite tunes, breathing deeply etcetera. Psychology behind all such tips is just to help you to step back from the situation in order to have some break of time to evaluate the problem and find out the proper way of expressing, restricting or freezing the anger. Psychologists and Mental Therapists counsel the patients/victims of anger in many ways how to control anger. Brief substance of their counseling is that the people who need to be victorious over their anger should go positive to the problem and learn to act instead of to react against the situation or the person responsible to make you annoyed.
As usually expected by my Readers, I shall wind up my Article after giving you some important quotes out of many on anger and its management in support of my ideas expressed above.
(1) “Anyone can become angry and that is easy, but to be angry with right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not within everyone’s power and that is not easy.” – Aristotle
(2) “It is wise to direct your anger towards problems – not people; to focus your energies on answers – not excuses.” – William Arthur Ward
(3) “Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” – Benjamin Franklin
(4) “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; but you are the one who gets burned with it first.” – Lord Buddha.
(5) “No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” – George Jean Nathan.
(6) “Anger is one letter short of ‘danger’.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
(7)”Anger is short-lived madness.” – Horace
(8) “To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.” – William H. Walton
Concluding the post, the anger and its consequences or reactions can be explained very well as this: “Anger is like a train which is out of control and it has to derail anyway. A little anger can motivate us to take actions in positive ways, but excessive anger may lead us far from our beloved ones and make our routine normal life dangerous and sometimes ruined.
– Valibhai Musa