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Recently a week ago, the Friendship Day was celebrated in the most of the countries of the world. Western countries emphasize on some social days besides the religious ones. The first Sunday of August was declared as the Friendship Day by US Congress in 1935 and now many countries follow the same and celebrate it. This day is not limited to youngsters only. The people of any age and gender celebrate it with great zeal and enjoy the day valuing friendship as an indispensable part of life.
In my some earlier post, I had written that Relatives have been gifted by the God by our birth in a certain family to His wish whether they suit us or not. But, we must thank Him in case of our friends for whom we have at least a chance of choice. The friend is the new-comer in our life like the wife. Here, I would like to express my views on friendship with supporting quotes of some noble and learned people wherever certain points come to be emphasized in my Article.
‘Friends and Friendship’ is such a profound subject which cannot be discussed with proper justification in this precise Article. Its various aspects are such as ways of knowing a friend, boundaries of friendship and its continuity or termination, proper motivations of friendship and guidelines of associating with friends, rights of friends mutually agreed upon and to be observed honestly and lastly testing a friend prior to its commencement, within its continuity or before its termination. I am not going to go deep in the subject here, but discuss some points in general just to guide my valued Readers how to deal with friends and develop true friendship.
Aristotle has said, “Man is a social animal.” Human being, during any phase of life, cannot live alone. Human, by nature, lives in society with other individuals for comforts of life and expressions of feelings. But, we have to note here, especially in case of friendships, whether they are meaningful or fruitful. Should we not pay attention to having true and noble friends? The aim of true friendship is sharing of joy and sorrow with each other. A Swedish proverb rightly suggests as “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” Those who have worthy friends are never lonely. True friends support and help each other. A friendship that is made for the sake of wealth, position, beauty and such things will disappear automatically when those factors come to an end. No material thing can act as the base of a lasting friendship or produce happiness.
Now, we come to the choice of a friend. One should not make friends with each and every individual whoever comes in our contact. There are some such persons in every society or community where friendships with those are harmful and dangerous for us. It is without any doubt that every friend affects and influences the affairs of one’s life. The ideas, moral and many more character related matters of the one person leave impressions on the other person knowingly or unknowingly. Experience has shown that many friendships have changed the destiny of individuals and their course of life. Friends influence each other’s ways of life and life styles. There is a well known saying that a man is known by the company he keeps. Friendship with worthy individuals is a great factor of happiness; and friendship and companionship with impure and polluted fellows are a cause of decline and distress. Socrates says: “Each person values something: someone desires wealth, another wants beauty; a third longs for honor; but, in my opinion, a good friend is better than all of them.”
Some people are so confident of their own purity and nobility that they imagine that they will not befall to any harm in their association with wicked persons. They consider their personality as strong enough not to be influenced by vices. However, they forget that cotton-wool gets a flame in touch with fire; and glass breaks with stones. Unfortunately, corruption and impurity can very quickly affect the human spirit, and easily make it catch fire like flint and burn everything with their flames. An old Arabic saying compares a bad companion with a blacksmith. If he does not burn you with his fire, his smoke will at least hurt your eyes! The Spanish have a saying to the effect that going among wolves will teach you howling! One more reason to avoid wicked friends is that people will consider you as the one known to them and your reputation will be spoiled. The Holy Prophet of Islam (SAW) says: “The happiest person is he who associates and befriends the magnificent.”
True friends are those who stick with us in our dark or bright hours. Those wicked friends who leave us alone in critical times in our life are alarming us that they are not our true friends. In such circumstances, it would be better for us to depart from them. Here, we have to be very conscious while boycotting any false friends. An open boycott might encourage him or her to be our enemy and perhaps our secret matters might be disclosed to the public or we might be blackmailed. It is advisable that the formal relations with that particular person might be continued, but frequent meetings with him or her should be avoided and relations be reduced gradually.
While summing up, I would like to say that the ideas and views regarding friendship have been expressed here by presuming that the Readers themselves are ideal friends and they are warned to be very conscious dealing with false friendships. But, there might be a possibility that we ourselves might not be deserving friends and whatever is written here might be applied against us by our friends and our friendship might come to an end. In brief to say, we should try to be a good friend of the other as we expect him or her to be ours.
Hopefully my Readers will benefit with this Article by reviewing their present friendships or developing their future friendships in such a way which might prove to be beneficial to both the sides for reformation of own character and behavior.
Have a nice friendship and be happy.
– Valibhai Musa
Dr. Chandravadan Mistry
August 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm
True friends are those who stick with us in our dark or bright hours. Those wicked friends who leave us alone in critical times in our life are alarming us that they are not our true friends……..
Dear Valibhai, Your Post on the FRIENDSHIP is very nice ! It is my view that the Friendship done in ” good spirit” never dies….May be sometimes it is briefly on the “wrong Path ” because of may be the “one incident related ” be misunderstood….Even in that circumstance, I believe that the “True Friendship ” will overcome this obstacle by “self-realization and/or Apologies “…AND, then the Future Frienship is even STRONGER than before.
Just my way of thinking !
Chandravadan (Chandrapukar )
August 14, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Vali Uncle your article is really very good, friends play a very important role in our life.
September 16, 2009 at 2:40 am
Really One of The write true !!
The right friends saw all ways true way and all ways ready for help!
May 24, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.